The Itching Coochie Diaries: How I Snuck Into NYFW And Lived To Tell The Tale (pt. 2)
Recently, there’s been a lot of discussion around the democratization of fashion. It’s not a secret that fashion as a hobby has been exclusive and somewhat gatekept. Call me selfish, but I don’t want this article to be a part of that discourse. The actions I took to sneak into the shows weren’t meant to make political statements or spur societal critiques (even though these conversations may be inevitable). Everything I did was simply because I’m a girl who purely loves fashion and wanted to experience the art of it in person.
With that being said, let’s pick up where we left off: In the line of my first ever NYFW experience, Bad Binch TONGTONG.
NYFW DAY 2
2:50 pm - This is the biggest, “bitch-you-thought,” moment I’ve experienced in a while. This line is for the actual security table and I can hear them up front taking names. I decide that I’m press and I join the back of the line so no one will be there to witness my embarrassment and I can scratch my post-shame cooch in peace.
___STEADY_PAYWALL___
2:53 pm - The line gets to me and I confidently smile and give them my name. I’m not a fucking writer. I’m a mediocre software developer that makes annoying TikToks. I’ve never written for any publications. I mentally lose my shit and blurt out that I’m, “with Polyester.” A look of recognition passes over their faces and I have an, “Oh-holy-shit-oh-shit,” moment.
2:55 pm - I got through. They couldn’t find my name on the list, but they let me through.
4:27 pm - The show was stunning. The show was absolutely fucking stunning. I teared up. I can't believe I got to experience this. During and after the show, I met some cool fucking people. We danced around for my tiktok and I even met a great photographer who snapped some insane pics of me and the others. Shoutout to you, Shindelverse. I get invited to a Vogue Singapore party and I accept--of course.
4:47 pm - I'm on the subway on the way back and someone taps my shoulder. It’s a cool looking person named Niko and they’re a model. They mistake my vintage thrifted dress for Simone Rocha. I compliment their eye and we exchange Instagrams. NYFW is off to a fantastic start.
NYFW DAY 3
11:37 am - First show of the day is anOnlyChild. Thankfully, I’m on the list because security is so tight, there’s no way I’d have been able to sneak in. I meet a cool girl. Let’s call her, “Patience.” The show runs late. I miss Elena Velez.
2:10 pm - Patience and I have eaten lunch and gone to an art exchange at Rogue. We decide that enough’s enough and we’re gonna sneak into the Black in Fashion Showrooms and Son Jung Wan to make up for me missing Elena Velez.
2:15 pm - Somehow, Patience and I get into Black in Fashion. She stresses that we shouldn’t have gotten in because there was a sign stating that it was, “Invite Only.” I can’t--for the life of me--remember how we got into the showrooms. Did we just smile, look hot and walk in?? On the way out of the showrooms, a security member sees us and asks, “if we’re headed to the fashion show.” I blurt, “Yes,” and he directs us to the 6th floor. Holy fuck.
2:22 pm - We’re queued up and the line is moving. Patience and I get the door and we’re asked for our tickets. My stomach drops and I blurt out, “Tickets?” The man responds, “Yes,” but I cut him off and ask, “Wait. Is this Dion Lee?” I know it’s not, but there are people behind us, I’ve been publicly embarrassed, and yes, my cooch is itching with the vengeance of 1000 suns. The guy starts to respond, but I freak, grab Patience’s hand and speed walk toward the elevator saying, “Oh my god, we’re late! We mixed up our locations! This isn’t Dion Lee!”
9:13 pm - It’s been hours since Patience and I parted ways. She’s going to the anOnlyChild afterparty at The Box, but I have a headache and have to pass. After we’d fled the building, we stopped for some street style photographers--like the attention whores we are, then we went to get boba. My anxiety is still flared from the close call at Son Jung Wan. I need to relax because my last showroom is on Monday.
NYFW DAY 5
12:38 pm - I kicked off the day visiting the Verafied showroom and making content with them. I left with a large bag of gifts from them and I’m now on the way to Black Boy Knits.
1:10 pm - I’m back at the same building where the Son Jung Wan coochie itching thing happened. My heart is pounding. I spot the security table and don’t see any of the people from Friday. I approach and confidently throw out my Polyester line. Again, they don’t see my name, but they mention how much they love Polyester. I’m about to be cleared, but one of the girls asks, “Doesn’t Polyester normally do UK stuff?” I answer affirmatively, but add that, “We’re spicing it up for NYFW.” They search the list for my name, don’t see it, but slip me a pass and let me up. Fucking insane.
1:17 pm - I’m in Black Boy Knits and I’m staring at some of the most intricate, sturdy, and stunning hand-knitting I’ve ever seen. Again, my heart starts racing and I tear up. I fucking love clothes, I love fashion, and I’m a sensitive bitch. Those circumstances make for tearful situations. I spot Jacques, the designer, and congratulate them on winning the CFDA grant. They and their friends are absolute sweethearts. I ask them a few questions for TikTok. They’re 10/10 a great person and an intensely gifted designer.
1:36 pm - I’m back in the Uber, headed home and I truly can’t believe my wonderful luck.
Fashion week truly feels like a festival. My first one was insane. Aside from being around cool people in aesthetically stunning outfits, everyone is so kind and welcoming (I can’t stress this part enough. Yeah, they’re good looking and well dressed, which makes them appear scary. However, once you talk to them, you find that they’re just a warm human who shares your same love self expression). During this whole process, I felt a few stabs of guilt at sneaking into the shows. Still, I’m so incredibly grateful for somehow being able to witness the unveilings of such impressive collections in real life.
I cried a lot. My sunglasses hid it, but I was a teary-eyed bitch. This was the most magical experience and I will truly never forget it.
To Terrence Zhou, the designer behind Bad Binch TONGTONG: I know I snuck in, but I want to thank you for allowing me to experience your SS23 show. I distinctly remember having chills while witnessing the absurdist surrealist presentation of the collection. The metaphor/theme of birth, paired with the soundtrack, combined with the design of the paradoxically desolate, but warm space created a spiritual experience for me. I really teared up. Thank you, dearly.
To Maxwell Osborne, the designer behind anOnlyChild: What a stunning show. Yes, I’m just a random TikToker, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to have this experience. I couldn’t help dancing in my stair-side seat when, “Groove is in The Heart,” came on. Your long, billowing skirts were breathtaking and I shamelessly cheered when you ran up the stairs at the end. The whole experience was concert-like in the feeling of togetherness and joint enjoyment. I also made some friends I’ll never forget. Thank you again for letting me be a part of it.
To Jacques Agbobly, the designer behind Black Boy Knits: As I said to you when meeting you, I cannot get your red, green, & yellow vest and your green and white sweater out of my head. Photographs sometimes tend to not do justice, so I consider myself fortunate to have witnessed the first collection from your genius mind in person. Geniuses come around and Geniuses go, but I truly met a genius and a kind soul at your presentation. Thank you babe. Thank you so warmly.
To the horde of people I came across during NYFW: You fuckers are the kindest, most welcoming, and sincere bunch of people. I hope to meet again and hopefully, many a blunt shall be smoked by us when we all gather in New York to do it all again in February for AW24!
Words and Art: Nimay Ndolo
