Sister Wives and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: Examining Homoeroticism in the Mormon Community

Words: Jess Bacon

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It’s a tale as old as time: a man marries a woman - or a Mormon man marries several - and they live happily ever after in their patriarchal, heteronormative existence. But what happens next? That’s the premise of Louisa Connolly-Burnham award-winning short film, Sister Wives.

The film follows Kadence (also played by Connolly-Burnham) who lives in a strict, polygamous society, where her husband, Jeremy (Michael Fox) can marry as many women as he wants, and so he does. His second wife Galilee (Mia McKenna-Bruce) arrives, drowned in white frills, to greet her husband’s fellow wife: “Hello Sister.” 

Despite Kadence’s initial disdain and discomfort at having to share her space with this new wife, these two are bound to one another and their mutual husband and confined under one roof. Before Galilee’s arrival, Kadence was a shadow of herself: isolated and adrift, her mind far away from her bodily existence as she simply goes through the motions of what is expected from her. Though Galilee’s presence feels strange to start with, Kadence finds an ally in her. Galilee pays attention to her, acknowledges her, converses with her and reignites a part of herself that she’d long forgotten (or never knew existed) and love begins to blossom between them. 
Sister Wives offers a new perspective on female coming-out films, it’s an inspiring call to embrace your sexuality, whatever the cost. These two women - played tenderly by McKenna-Bruce and Connolly-Burnham - fall in love even in a repressive regime. It’s a tribute to self-expression as these women free themselves from the shackles of this heterosexual pretence. 

Director and writer, Connolly-Burnham explained to me that she’d always been “fascinated” by the dynamics of fundamentalist religious communities, especially how the queer relationships fit within The FLDS, “a strict sect of Mormons based in Utah and Arizona.”

“I discovered them through a documentary and got a bit obsessed, deep diving into books and podcasts, learning as much as I could,” she says. “I was astonished at how many wives each man had, sometimes as many as seventy! It got me wondering, how on earth do they get around everyone? How can they possibly ensure each wife feels valued, heard, and loved amid such complexity? This made me curious if there were any instances where sister wives began turning to each other for affection, instead of competing for their partners.”  

Queerness within the Mormon religion (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) is still viewed through the oppressive lens of being a “sin.” While the church does not deny that same-sex attraction exists, it is forbidden to act on this desire, making Mormonism an oppressively heterosexual community. At least, on the surface.

“Their appearance and lifestyle may feel outdated to us, but this is not a period film, and it does actually reflect how [FLDS people] actually live today in 2024,” Connolly-Burhnam adds. “FLDS women are required to cover their skin from below the shoulders to the ankles, are forbidden from wearing jewellery or cutting their hair, and are prohibited from wearing the colour red, as it's believed to be the colour Jesus will wear upon his return. That’s what makes our film so powerful: the moment the audience realises that this is real and happening today, in the present, it hits much harder.”

“It’s a snapshot of gender roles that define a religious community where women have to “obey” their husbands, even if the women of MomTok are unconventional Mormons and posited as girl bosses - they’re the providers for their household who support their husbands and their children.”

Heteronormativity is also a through thread in the more modern reality series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Led by the founders of Mom Tok, these Mormon women have strict rules to follow, even with their controversial history of soft swinging and using their children’s illness “for likes.” On first glance, all these couples live a picket-fence existence of a wholesome, historically stereotypical nuclear family of a mother, father and two to three kids. Yet, this is far from the case. 

A rumour emerges that Whitney’s husband Connor was on Tinder (which she later confirms as true) and she reveals that he has been struggling with a Porn addiction, which many viewers speculated was because he is actually gay. Whitney fervently denied these rumours, but even with the stigma around queer relationships in their religion, Whitney recorded a controversial TikTok with her husband joking that he’s her “little gay boyfriend.” 

As Connor leant into the toxic masculine stereotype flexing his muscles to the camera, many people in the comments called it a “lavender marriage” - a male-female marriage that is undertaken as a way to conceal the stigma of one partner’s true sexuality. 

It’s a snapshot of gender roles that define a religious community where women have to “obey” their husbands, even if the women of MomTok are unconventional Mormons and posited as girl bosses - they’re the providers for their household who support their husbands and their children. 

It’s also worth noting that it is revealed in the show that the swinging between the couples supposedly began in their friendship group as two husbands wanted to see their wives kiss each other. At a slumber party, the women even ask “who they’d go lesbian for” before they share a quick peck. Layla says to her bestie: “I’d go gay for you.” Even though this is a strict religious community where the women judge each other on a “scale” of how Mormon they are and split themselves into the “saints and sinners”, these queer desires lurk beneath the surface, even if they are reduced to a passing joke. 

This is why Connolly-Burnham’s film is so vital. It’s an important statement that queer love exists and should be cherished in religious communities as it normalises the experience, which does happen in reality. Validating and showcasing these love stories is an integral part of encouraging and supporting others to feel safe to come out and coexist with aspects of their identity that feel like a conflict such as being both gay and religious. 

“I hope that what we’re doing is bringing a fresh and underrepresented narrative to the forefront,” the director adds. “Queer love stories from this particular group have never been explored in mainstream film before, but I believe that these relationships do exist within the FLDS community; we're just not hearing them yet.”