Sick Sad Girlz: How do I Embrace Hot Girl Summer Energy without Doing Any Hot Girl Activities?!
You asked: How do I embrace Hot Girl Summer energy without doing any hot girl activities?!
You know those “expectation vs reality” memes that resurface online in different iterations every couple of months? That feels like a pretty apt explanation of our relationship to the infamous ideals of the “Hot Girl Summer”. Like most things that get swept up in the cultural lexicon, what started out as a version of the “fuck you I’m gonna do what I want” movement (we love), has since conveniently started to fall into the clutches of the same old capitalistic/patriarchal/[insert oppressive structure here] narrative, and become yet another marketed aesthetic for us to hopelessly aspire to (we hate.) What we’re saying is, for us, being Sick Sad Girlz has been a big lesson in reframing the way we look at things, and Hot Girl Summer is no exception.
So how do we embrace Hot Girl Summer as we are, and let go of some of these impossible expectations so that we can enjoy our lived realities as vivacious Sick Sad Babes? First, let’s talk managing expectations. Whilst we love (and love to loathe) being voyeurs, scrolling through the Instagram and TikTok accounts of That Girl™, watching the lives of the nauseatingly curated aesthetes of the world, we also try to remind ourselves that falling into the compare and despair cycle is a huge vibe killer, and if we’re being honest, a lot of the activities we associate with the archetypal “Hot Girl Summer” actually sound like a Sick Sad Girl Nightmare. Not to yuck anyone’s yum, but some of these grand excursions and cute set ups seem like a classic case of fun in theory but hell in practice. We’re definitely not the first to point it out, but if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Plus, Hot Girl Summer is about embracing our true main character fantasies, so rather than wasting the summer months looking at what everyone else is doing, and getting wrapped up in the what if’s and if only's, let’s focus on you right now!
___STEADY_PAYWALL___
We believe in the power of making the most out of the mundane, and HGS is an energy! Let’s not limit it to babes on holiday or going out every night. Rather than seeing Hot Girl Summer as a destination, a grand outing or exclusive event, we encourage you to indulge in some Radical Acts of Hotness. If I take a bath in the middle of the day that is luxurious hot girl energy. If I sit on the phone for hours in bed, taking up all the space, loudly talking to my best friend, that is hot girl energy. If I’m putting on glam to take a bunch of selfies and lounge around on the couch, that’s my own damn business and absolutely hot girl energy! Our lives as SSGz come with conditionals, so choosing to lean into what makes us feel good is a radical act of hot girl summer energy! What we’re trying to achieve here is a feeling of self approval, an embrace of our own desires and allowance of our feelings to be central when considering our actions and output into the world.
All of this can be easier said than done on the particularly Sick-Sad days, and that’s when we find it’s important to handle the basics. Being sick in the middle of summer is never a fun feeling, and can be especially alienating when it feels like literally everyone else is out there getting after it. In those moments we really need to block out the noise and listen to what our bodies and brains are telling us. It’s hard to feel hot when we’re flaring, and sometimes it’s even harder to care, so let’s give ourselves the time and grace we need to remember that we exist in our bodies and minds before trying to feel any type of way about them. I find the sickness in particular weirdly cooperates with this concept. There is little else that can be done but accept where I am and how I’m feeling. However, although the care and keeping of our Sick Selves can feel more straightforward/prescriptive, our Sad Selves need just as much love.
“You’re allowed to hate the beach, we’ll save you a spot in the shade and you can wear black all July long for all we care. Whatever is going to make you feel confident and joyful is exactly what we’re going to do, and we’re doing it all summer long.”
In the throes of these Rot Girl Summer (Hot Girl Suffer?) vibes, maybe you need to close the blinds to the summer sun, cry your eyes out, and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Even if it’s not the version of HGS you had in mind, giving space to these needs creates the foundation of love and attention that we need to emit that Hot Girl Summer energy. It can start with a simple act of care like listening to a record that makes me feel good, or phoning a friend, and then all of a sudden it starts a domino effect of actions until I am living my hot girl summer fantasy. And listen, if Sad Girl is your aesthetic and you think it clashes with HGS sensibilities, we would like to remind you that Sad Girlz are hot too ! You’re allowed to hate the beach, we’ll save you a spot in the shade and you can wear black all July long for all we care. Whatever is going to make you feel confident and joyful is exactly what we’re going to do, and we’re doing it all summer long. Reclaim your energy, live your best fantasy, and stay hydrated!
We love you,
Kenzie and Rosa x
