Neil Gaiman, Tumblr and How Abusers Hide Behind Male Feminism
Words: Jun Chou
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The Internet has always served as a safe haven for angsty teenagers. If you were as chronically online as I was in 2013 you might remember joshishollywood also known as confusedtree on Tumblr, as a beloved, floppy-haired Canadian famous for his signature bow tie and hipster glasses. Josh was one of the first examples I had of a male feminist. Regularly featured on his blog were impassioned critiques of male privilege and sexist portrayals of female characters in popular fandoms. One of the “good guys.” Someone to look up to at a time when I hated everyone.
Until one day, I saw a story from an underage user alleging that they received unsolicited nudes from the then-24-year-old. Other stories emerged and details of similar creepy harassments from Josh overtook my timeline. Backlash was swift. His feminism was a shield, detractors detailed, a mask to hide sordid intentions behind. He disappeared. To this day, there is no trace of the user on the internet other than mentions of this scandal.
A few weeks ago, New York Magazine published a harrowing article detailing allegations of sexual assault, coercion, and abuse against writer Neil Gaiman. The primary narrative tracks Scarlett Pavlovich, his former nanny, who claims abuse from Gaiman lasted years, beginning when he assaulted her for the first time in his family home’s bathtub. In the piece, Lila Shapiro writes, “Two of the [accusers], who have never spoken to each other, compared him to an anglerfish, the deep-sea predator that uses a bulb of bioluminescence to lure prey into its jaws. ‘Instead of a light, he would dangle a floppy-haired, soft-spoken British guy,’ said one of his victims.” The same floppy-haired, soft-spoken British guy who tweeted in 2018: “I believe survivors. Men must not close our eyes and minds to what happens to women in this world.”
A word for this phenomenon — an outwardly feminist man who winds up being the opposite — did not exist back in 2013. However, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, an unfortunate vernacular has sprung from the proliferation of these types of stories. In an extended essay published in 2022, Sam Mills introduced the notion of the chauvo-feminist. “A chauvo-feminist is the abusive man who hides in plain sight.” Mills writes, “Aware that his misogyny would not be tolerated in the current climate, conscious that it could end in the destruction of his reputation and career, a [chauvo-feminist] constructs a persona, a screen on smoke and mirrors.”
And in plain sight they hid. The disgraced comedian Louis C.K. made jokes about jerking off in front of women before news broke about him jerking off in front of women. Even Harvey Weinstein marched in the women’s march once. My women’s studies professor introduced me to actor Justin Baldoni via his viral TED talk, Why I'm done trying to be “man enough.” I fawned with my best friend over his role as a hunky hotelier in Jane the Virgin. On his 4X Webby-nominated podcast - The Man Enough Podcast - with over 100 episodes, Baldoni spoke for hours about challenging gender roles with renowned guests like Drake Bell and FKA Twigs.
“His entire brand was built around being an outspoken feminist; around encouraging men to dismantle their internalised toxic masculinity, which he claimed hurt everyone under the patriarchy, no matter your gender identity.”
His entire brand was built around being an outspoken feminist; around encouraging men to dismantle their internalised toxic masculinity, which he claimed hurt everyone under the patriarchy, no matter your gender identity. His downfall came last month in the form of an explosive lawsuit filed by Blake Lively, accusing Baldoni of sexual misconduct on the set of It Ends with Us, a film about overcoming domestic violence. My best friend and I were in disbelief. How could this be the same Baldoni who once said, “As men, it’s time we start to see past our privilege and recognise that we are the problem”? Though the verdict is still out on Baldoni, one thing appears true: he hid behind his feminist mask and hired professionals to bully a woman he considered a threat.
Similarly, Gaiman was hailed as a feminist hero. His progressive series, The Sandman, introduced the first trans character to the notoriously male comic book world during the 90’s. In 2012, scholars published nearly 300 pages in a collection of essays extolling the feminist themes in Gaiman’s works. “Gaiman insists on telling the stories of people who are traditionally marginalized, missing, or silenced in literature,” wrote Tara Prescott-Johnson in the collection. Like Macedo, Gaiman commonly espoused his feminist beliefs on Tumblr, a space where misfits like me found kinship. But it was also on the site where Gaiman solicited photos from fans reading his books in the bathtub, with no stated age minimum, from a man in his fifties with a fanbase of primarily teenagers. A notable example of Gaiman’s unsavoury predilections hidden under our noses when you consider Pavlovich’s claim of the author’s initial assault. It is especially insidious that male feminists like Gaiman and Josh frequent spaces with vulnerable young women attempting to explore feminism earnestly and use their popularity there to exploit their positions of power.
From Neil Gaiman to Justin Baldoni to Louis C.K. to Joss Whedon to Dan Harmon to Eric Schneiderman to Michael Kimmel. You’d think the surprise of yet another chauvo-feminist ousting would be mild by now; a numbness akin to the sadly frequent news of yet another mass shooting on American soil. Still, when the Baldoni lawsuit dropped, my best friend and I shook our heads as we lamented, “Are there any good men?” I scrolled the New York Magazine article with a steady shock as I read the disgusting details about Gaiman’s abuse.
I’m starting to believe that may be the wrong question. In a capitalist society, is it any surprise that misogynistic opportunists have commodified and claimed feminism once it became profitable? Feminism has become a throw pillow and a mask to hide behind. Toxic masculinity is unfortunately uniform, no matter what disguise it wears. Hell, a predator is currently beginning his second term as the president of the United States.
But I want to believe in a better world, despite the constant disappointment. I need to. I need to believe we begin to move past these repeated heartbreaks by developing a shared language of activism and allyship. That Gaiman’s inclusive utopia and Baldoni’s anti-patriarchal asylum exist, especially since they are not the ones leading it anymore. Amidst the deepest depths of these depressions, I believe we need to remain earnest about feminism. That in times like these, we need to remember the words by one of my favourite poets, 兔兒神: “Let me stay tender-hearted / despite, despite, despite.”
