Maze on Neurodivergent Partying, Sober DJing and Being Daddy
Maze and I met seemingly like all queer people do - through an entangled web of close friendships and romances during a hot sticky summer at the tail end of our degrees. They started dating my housemate and Maze’s presence soon became central in our bisexual utopia of a house full of giggles, parties, shagging and most of all music!
Since that glorious summer, I’ve seen them somehow transform themselves entirely while also becoming more of the person I met them as. It’s been a meta-morphic year for Maze arriving back in London, committing to their sobriety, interrogating their relationship with gender, and pursuing their DJing career.
When I asked them how they were at the start of this interview they said that their body was shattered but their soul was gleaming. This comes as no surprise since the past couple of months have been hectic for Maze. In July they came with us to Latitude Festival to play our Polyester Takeover, and in the last month alone they’ve had back to back gigs every weekend. They've DJed at Portals, Qwere, Switch Rising, Misscoteque, the Polyester End of Summer Social and Spectrum - the collective and club night they co-organise for neurodiverse queers.
Ever the cheeky fiend, when I asked them to state their name and pronouns they said ‘my pronouns are they/them but you can call me daddy’. Despite their newfound success in London, next month Maze will be heading to Berlin. A move that both excites them and scares them…
Since coming back from uni a year ago the DJing has been taking off! So when I committed to moving to Berlin, I had a bit of a ‘what am I doing’ moment. But I also decided that it’s good to move to a new city with such a base of this is what I’ve done, this is what I do, and this is me. I think I’m more like myself now than I was last year, and I know my identity more and how I present myself and how I work. So now I’m ready to tell you what I'm going to give you and you're going to lap it up.
___STEADY_PAYWALL___
So do you feel more fully formed than this time last year?
Yeah, that's a nice way of putting it but also, I don’t like the idea of being fully formed. This isn’t the end of my progression. Every year I know myself more, so I don’t want to put a cap on that. I guess there certainly is more clarity in who I am and what I’m like. But everything is also always moving and adjusting. So you know I might go to Berlin and find something else to add to who I am.
Speaking of progression, this year you’ve become sober from drugs. How has the DJing affected that journey for you?
This year has definitely been a big one for my sobriety and DJing played a massive part in that. It made me realize that the energy that I gain from performing is 10 times more than I ever did when I was on drugs. It has shown me that I am my own happiness (as cringe as that is), that I’m looking after myself.
For the last nine months, I’ve been focusing on myself. I’ve been on this beautiful journey where I've been able to process what's going on around me and be present in my life. This period has changed my perspective on what nightlife is about and on a larger scale what music is about. It’s also taught me that being present is the only thing I really need, like that gets me high enough. I come out of those shows and I’m gleaming!
That’s amazing and I’m so so proud of you! With DJing fueling your sobriety did it also affect other elements of your personal life?
DJing has always been an outlet for me, and it has definitely allowed me to express myself more in my personal life. When I started doing gigs, I would push myself to wear something that felt queerer to me. I wanted to give off that energy, but I was so held back at university. Hardly any of my friends were queer and no one was expressing it in the way that I do now. In the beginning I still didn't have the confidence to be as bold in my day-to-day expression. So, it was really just about wearing something smaller that felt more queer looking or more masc.
Last year I would never have been half naked on stage. But since then, my DJing has become more performance based than just playing tracks. When I’m shaking my ass and popping my pussy for strangers it makes me feel empowered. It's like I’m reclaiming myself and I’m inspiring myself to be more me and be more comfortable with who I am.
Being a performer is something that is deeply ingrained in me, but I also suppressed it as I got older. So re-engaging with that side of myself through DJing is so special! My inner child is like "thank God like you finally found something where you can actually be you and its fully embraced".
And as for the gender side of things when I’m performing, I’m just a creature, I’m just being this thing. I don't like the idea of looking like a woman, but when I'm on stage I'll get my tits out and I'll shake them around, give them a show. Now I don’t feel a pressure to meet femininity in a certain way. I can express my femininity and my masculinity (even though I don't like using those two terms) in a way that suits me. I can look hot in a way that doesn't have to meet a stereotype of how I should present when I'm wearing certain clothes.
It’s been amazing to see you get more comfortable this year. Like to see the DJing become more of a performance and to see you share that side of yourself with other people. Obviously, we saw glimmers of it last summer, but it's been great to see your audience witness that too!
I've had a lot of people say that they can tell that I’m really happy. Like even you said that to me, it’s like something has clicked! It’s given me such a confidence boost and made me feel really comfortable at the same time. Whereas a lot of people might feel uncomfortable doing something new!
Being a performer is something that is deeply ingrained in me, but I also suppressed it as I got older. So re-engaging with that side of myself through DJing is so special! My inner child is like "thank God like you finally found something where you can actually be you and its fully embraced".
I’m still growing more, and this isn’t the end of it, but I guess I have grown a lot. But there's also a constant shift of how I feel within my body, how I want to present and how I want to share that with people. And I do share it with people because I'm literally shoving my body in everyone's faces. And I'm like, take it.
On the topic of feeling embraced by your audience, what's your favorite type of gig to play? Like what makes a gig feel good to you?
What makes a gig feel good to me is knowing that other people are feeling the kind of freedom that I'm feeling on stage. Like at queer raves or events I'm having the best time on stage and so is the audience because it’s a safe space with little judgment!
I guess that’s why I don’t really like playing in hetero spaces full of cis men, because there’s a lot of bravado and “Oh mate, that track selection. What was this track you played.” That stresses me out because I have word processing issues and I don’t know half of the stuff I’m playing. I just know it because that’s what the shape of the words looks like. I’m just putting stuff on to get everyone going, to get everyone feeling elated and have a boost of serotonin. So yeah, my favorite gigs to play are ones that center queer love, safe spaces and promote positivity!
For sure! And since there's such a sense of community at your gigs, is community building important to you as an artist?
Yeah it’s really important to me! When a collective, like Spectrum, is running an event, it’s always the community that makes the event. When I’m DJing I want everyone to feel together in the room, to be on the same vibe. But usually if I’m playing a queer event then there is quite a big sense of community anyway.
You mentioned your collective Spectrum and I was wondering how that come about?
Spectrum came about when I was talking to my friend Meshi, who is an amazing autistic king and slay performer. We wanted to create a night that centers welfare because in London there is such a lack of space in the nightlife sector for people with accessibility needs. It’s shit because it completely limits the number of places that people feel comfortable to go out in. So, we decided to create a neurodiverse community led by neurodiverse people. We wanted an event where people can go and feel comfortable to stim in the corner or wear their overhead earphones at the event. Somewhere where there is a fully trained welfare team, no flash or strobe lighting and decibel limits to the music. There’s just so many events that I go to and I feel overwhelmed at.
With Spectrum, we wanted to create that safe space for neurodivergent people. But also, we understand that Superstore also isn't the most accessible building. We started there, because we knew someone had a good relationship them, and it was affordable when we were starting up and had no money.
At our events we also have fully trained welfare staff that we brief very intensely, and we’ve cut the capacity of the venue down a lot. We have fidgets and we’re constantly checking in with people and reminding everyone what the events about and, and who the space there for. And it's been really beautiful. We've had some really nice feedback from people who have been like, I've never felt like I fit in a space and now you've made this!
I came to Spectrum last week and it was so amazing! From running the last two events, is there anything that you've learned that has surprised you?
For sure! On a personal level it’s taught me that I invalidate my neurodiverse brain a lot. I feel like a bit of an imposter because I compare my level of neurodiversity to other people. But I’ve realized that everyone has different levels to things. Like I might do something better than Meshi, but Meshi might do something better than I do.
On a practical level it's opened my eyes up to the fact that there are some less obvious things that you need to consider. For example, lowering capacity or making sure that you create the night with a balance of vibes at each stage so people can choose between them so that not everyone's gonna be upstairs at the same time and not everyone's gonna be downstairs same time. We’ve also had a lot of people come to us asking how to make their events more accessible for neurodiverse people, which has been cool.
And what do you tell people who ask how to make their events more accessible for neurodivergent people?
There are two key things for making events more accessible for neurodivergent people and that’s space and staffing. You need a well-trained welfare team that people can find easily so that they can talk to someone quickly. Whether it’s about an incident that has happened or a lack of something that means their needs aren’t met. Something we also do is briefing our bar staff because for someone who is neurodivergent might find it quite hard to order a drink. So, we explain that not everyone can easily can just go up and ask for a pint. We ask them to appreciate that some of our community might not be able to communicate in a way that the staff are used to, and I guess just generally we encourage everyone to be nice and considerate to other people.
More practically, I think capacity is central to making spaces accessible. You need to be on it and not go over it because it can make spaces really anxiety inducing. Another note for the space is making it clear whether there is going to be strobe lights or not, because that can be dangerous for people with photosensitivity. Decibel monitors are also important to keep the music at a safe level especially if you have sensitivity to noise. Chill out spaces are also vital to create a space for someone to relax in so that if they do start to struggle at the event to give them a place to reset. I think generally the golden rule would just be complete transparency about the night. Because a lot of people like to know exact set times because it can be stressful going into a night not knowing what is going to happen.
Now you’ve run a few nights with Spectrum what’s next, how do you envision the future of the collective?
We want to do more than just club nights and we're saving up to do more relaxing, low stimulation events like some spoken words and performances. That’s also to create spaces where people can just come and meet people to foster a sense of community. You know, I met someone the other day, who said that they didn’t know many people who are autistic and queer in London, and so we invited them to our event. They came and said it was great to have a space for them to meet other people and ask what spaces they go to, how they deal with certain things etc. Spectrum is more than just a club night! It is a community, it's like a family of people!
Words and Photography: Issey Gladston
