Black Venus Fly Trap: Poetry from Jeanetta Rich
If Zizek Heard My Thoughts During Sex
Lars Von Trier hates women.
Although he’s my favorite filmmaker.
___STEADY_PAYWALL___
When I was a kid
I would sneak to watch Breaking The Waves.
There was something terribly wrong with me.
I identified with Bess,
whose husband would request
for her to commit random acts of sex in order to revive him
of his illness.
I fantasize about being your fantasy.
How to cum quickly without shedding tears.
How to tear open your back in search of myself.
How to avoid the voice of my mother and haphazardly I
come across the voice of God.
In reality it’s my ballet teacher.
Saying handle your core with care,
clearly I haven’t
I insist that you fuck me head down ass up.
smash my face into a pillow
Impede my hearing until the ringing drowns out
all my layers of emptiness.
A part of me thinks it’s sweet when you do.
Think of How it feels to pique turn
without spotting and I want to feel that way now.
How did my ballet teacher get over his dizzy spells?
I am remembering little boys snickering at him outside of
the community center.
Bursting out of their teeth you’re gay. He invited them to
dance class.
He reminded me to be careful.
Because of him I have no fear.
But what do I do with the shame?
I can’t be as cursed as grandmother who gave birth to
a glutton
a drunk
a homosexual
and a body full of bullets.
You want to film me sucking your cock. Sure.
At this moment I am reminded of my uncle and his camera.
Uncle set out to San Francisco in the late 70s
with no one to tell him
handle with care.
Upon his return
Uncle took pictures of me.
They were out of focus.
Uncle must have been losing his eyesight.
This too is the story of My Aunt
a large woman
a woman who ate too many biscuits
a woman with no legs
on her deathbed whispering family secrets.
1. Don’t eat so many biscuits
2. You are cursed
3. Richard, the man who gifted you the gold
necklace, with a garnet stone pendant, was not
just your Uncle’s roommate.
This, I already knew.
I acquired the knowledge prior,
I was 3 years old, playing in the basement.
Father couldn’t mourn Uncle’s death without righteously
blaming those faggots.
I watched him teeter between Anger and Grief. Then his
head bowed onto mother’s chest.
I like my tits sucked
but now I’m picturing father’s tears rolling down
mother’s cleavage.
I’m taking too long to cum.
Actually I’ve given up.
So I laugh to make you think I’m here.
Something is terribly wrong with me.
I think of grandmother who lost three of her four children
before she died.
I think I can’t be as cursed as grandmother.
She must have experienced rejection from grandfather after
he found out she gave birth
to a glutton
a drunk
a homosexual
and a body full of bullets
Think of how Uncle never came out because his little
brother was shot in the head. Think of every gay
black man who must be in the same predicament.
Think, how fucked up to believe dying with AIDS
is less valid than being killed with a gun? All black
lives matter. Fuck George Floyd is kinda fine.
Think of George Floyd, all his muscles crushing
your chest–and I’m wet again! Boy, If Uncle were
alive he’d tell me to stop being such a stupid bitch
over cocktails.
I need a
drink right now.
In fact, the last time we did this, we were drunk.
That’s why it went so well. I laugh again. You think
I’m laughing because I’m having a good time but
I’m laughing at my dead uncle, his ashes, sprinkled
over the San Francisco bridge by grandmother.
Think of how grandmother’s ashes are in a zip lock
bag in the basement. Think you’re not as cursed as
Grandmother.
Please, bang out my gut so I can forget who I am for
a while — punishment for being a woman. Think, of
how my father is dying of cancer and no one to bear his
name. Just think if I could fuck freaky hard long enough
every black man, I could stop my father from dying. I
could resurrect all the names. Just like in that Lars Von
Trier film...
Sestina For Coco
I didn't care to hear the news
of Coco's edges being snatched out
by her lover just released from prison
according to my Instagram feed
the hood had moved up and over
or pushed further down
avoiding the stench of pro-style gel, when the gutter washes it down
Coco used cruelty-free product only, was the latest news
frenzied crowds spill over
fans only was too loud I had to get the fuck out
the sound of strands tearing from follicles isn't quality ASMR for your feed
but I’m engaged to this prison
I wanted to believe one of us was exotic enough to escape this raggedy ass prison
or at least raggedy ass edges- Coco you let me down
you looking stale as fuck on my feed
the nation speaks to daughters of the world’s news:
a status quo ho gets eaten out
toggling tips of acrylics gilded over
monumental manifesto messed over
melancholy mothers mourn at the prison
we used to be theirs to chew out
bare and farel monkey-ass-ho a barrel she stares down
tongue and cheekbones spew out the news
holy shit it's time to feed!
Fools rush in for the feed'n
silver spoon bitches keep biting her style, Coco just got her nails did over
all the while she scrolls through the many dreams of barbie doll's news
feeds In prison
catatonic Collision Countdown
any ounce of dignity, left out
dogged out
she still breathing and gotta feed
forsaken and cast down
couldn't mask her frowns over
there's plenty to be found for her in this prison
have you heard the good news ?
trending news
later for that dead shit prison
ol’ girl over
Bottom Bitch
I managed not to spit in the food I served you today
When you’re drunk enough you spit into your wife’s mouth
– picture my face
My lips
Part and say
Have a nice day sir.
Thank you and come again
on my tits this time
So not to suffer your seed
So your seed won’t suffer
The system you thrive in
And deny in its partition of
classracesex
You take ownership over my body at any moment
bedroom
hospital
court
school
You’ve said you love me
but I can’t move
into your
house
Poetry: Jeanetta Rich