It is becoming hard not to sound like a cliché when talking about girlhood, sexuality and feminism. In the past years we saw a huge rise of feminist art and music. Girls are finally raising their voices through creative outlets expressing and celebrating their own ideas of sexuality, beauty, confidence.
Somewhere behind the glitter, rose tinted glasses, pink dresses and golden curtains there lies a very important message that I think has finally gotten across the media. GIRL – girl gaze, girl views, girl feelings, girl sexuality, has taken the leading role and we now can see things through the gaze of a girl herself.
A female, has always been the accessory – dancing in the background, doing supporting love interest roles, smiling away in toothpaste adverts – portrayed mainly by the eyes of men – therefore our sexuality has been kind of owned by men too. Whenever there comes out a film or a song where a girl gives a Fuck you to everybody and their opinions it is, sadly, seen as controversial and radical, while men performers parade around literally rapping about getting blow jobs as casually as lighting up joints and using the word bitch like punctuation.
Since sexuality is owned by men ruling the media and entertainment, it has been widely manipulated too. If you’re a sexy girl – you’re a hoe, if you’re a tomboy – you’re frigid and uptight. Girls gotta chose a box they gonna tick. Therefore, a lot of girls have been put off from calling themselves as feminists. If they like things “girly”, they are open sexually or like to look sexy, it is thought, or more like, dictated my the male audience, that they do not fit into a description of a feminist and disavow feminism as a theory itself.
I say, sexuality should be a very individual thing, a personal feeling and expression. We can not stress enough the importance of girls’ own individual, uncontrolled and unimposed expression of her sexuality and it should be a part of liberating your feminist self. It is a big part of female self-knowledge and female consciousness itself. Girls should not be made to apologise for owning IT if they feel like it !
Words & Illustrations: Adelina Sasnauskaite