Two significant events happened in my life in 2017. I turned 30 and I got married. Before the wedding I noticed I was curvier than usual. I have decided to try something I never had the patience for: slowly, gradually changing my lifestyle. I promised myself I won’t be impatient, I won’t force myself to lose 20 kilos in two months, and I’ll leave time for myself.
All my life I have tried to feel good in my skin, because this is how I always was, this was my figure. But there were always people around, who made accepting myself difficult. They were usually people close to me. I had a boyfriend who forced me to stand on the scale, to check if I gained weight. He wanted to see if I should start dieting. Years later, before my wedding I was asked if I really needed bridesmaids, because of how I will look on the photos, standing next to my slim girlfriends. All these people meant well.
My campaigns in dieting were successful temporarily, but I always gave up after a while. But this time, it worked.
I am lucky, because I have found a true partner. He won’t force me on the scale, he will never insult me, while only meaning well and giving me courage. My self-confidence grew greatly since I’m with him. But I have started changing my lifestyle for myself, and learned not to compare myself to others. I have changed a lot. I’m happy about improving my health, and I don’t feel guilty when I sometimes go off-diet. I haven’t become a top model. I’ll never be one, but I’m fine with it. I like my big behind and my belly. I hope my new series will help other to accept themselves as well.
Photography: Eva Szombat, Special thanks: Antoine d’Agata & Robert Capa Contemporary Photography Center